Oh what I wouldn't give to be that teenage girl again who thought she was "fat".
Over the last year I have struggled and struggled to figure out what is going on with...me.
At the moment I still don't know.
I just finished an 8 week long program of workouts, managed portions, clean eating, but cheats allowed.
I feel good.
But that is it!
I weigh exactly the same as I did when I started 8 weeks ago.
They say "don't focus on the scale".
And "you've probably lost inches".
Nope!
The scale nor the measuring tape have budged.
Yet, I feel stronger and my muscles feel firmer.
No other changes.
My clothes don't even fit better.
In fact, less of my "fat" clothes fit now than prior to the 8 weeks!
I put on clothes that I used to swim in just a year ago and I can't even get them on.
Heck, new "fat" clothes I bought just this summer don't fit anymore.
I have gained 35-40 pounds since the Spring of 2017 and I can't figure out how.
I workout...honestly I do.
I love working out!
And eating...I try to keep my portions small even when I think I want more.
I have turkey sausage every morning with steel cut oats or a protein smoothie for breakfast.
I eat simple salads for lunch every day with a piece of fruit.
I snack on Skinny Pop or Smartfood popcorn, but I don't overeat.
Dinner is my biggest meal of the day by far.
I try to have a protein, veggies, and a carb.
I typically do my workouts at night so that meal helps give me energy.
After I might have a protein shake and that is it.
Yes, I have cheats throughout the week.
I have coffee with almondmilk and creamer.
A serving of twizzlers throughout the week.
I don't drink pop or juice.
I have an alcoholic beverage about once a month, if that.
I drink a TON of water.
I have no idea what to do.
Yes, I am going to be 40 this year.
But that isn't an excuse for me.
Actually, to me it means I shouldn't be at this point of my life.
All I know is I am going to keep going.
Keep eating right, while still allowing for a little fun.
Still working out every day because it is the only thing that instantly makes me feel better.
The rest...I pray falls into place.
I am not posting this for pity, sympathy, etc.
I just feel like I need to get this off my chest.
Weight has never been something I struggled with.
And if I gained a few pounds here and there it came off with a few workouts.
Again, I know I am getting older and with that things don't bounce back as quickly as they used to.
But I know I am working like crazy for something that has not shown me an ounce of reciprocation in the last year.
And that is just frustrating!
It is also frustrating when you cry every morning or every event you get ready for because something that fit last week/month doesn't.
It makes you a complete mess.
Not gonna lie....I don't do well around people who cry.
And now here I am, tearing up all the time over this problem I have.
If you want to shoot me your opinions I would be glad to hear them.
First, let me give you my symptoms....
Ice cold hands and feet ---- like no circulation in them
The rest of my body sweats uncontrollably
My hair is drier than normal and falls out a lot
My skin is super dry and even burns when I am working out
I have a permanent sore throat and raspy voice
Ridiculous weight gain
Wake up exhausted after a full nights sleep
So tired at night but can't seem to fall asleep
Depressed- mainly due to weight gain/clothing not fitting
Stressed out
My joints ache
Memory issues
Etc.
Thank you for letting me ramble today.
I know so many people suffer through things like this and are afraid to share how they feel, or they feel like they are the only one this is happening to.
If that is you....I just want you to know you are not alone.
Heck, we can form a group if you want ;)
So due to to who knows what is going on with me I had to grab a few new items so I had something that actually fit me.
I headed to my go-to spot and found a few things that work well for work, but could easily crossover to hanging out with friends and such.
I grabbed this pale olive green sweater and loved it so much I went back and grabbed the white and gray striped option as well!
It's technically listed as a knit top because it is so lightweight.
And I loved the buttons on the shoulders!
I love olive green in the Fall/Winter, so grabbing this Utility Top was a no brainer!
It has a little bit of extra length to it, so I can pair it with some skinny jeans when I am not at work :)
Believe it or not, I don't own many tunics.
I love the colors of this Plaid Tunic, and knew it would work well with the pants I have in my closet for work and fun.
I mean, they are called Vanessa so how could I pass them up?
I mentioned this on Instagram, but I had pair super similar to these when I was in 1st grade!
I loved those boots!
Can't wait to wear these!
Side note: I am typically a 7 1/2, but had to size up to an 8 in these.
Now it is your turn!
Link your Wednesday Fashion Frenzy post below!
And then click on some of the other ladies who joined in the fun today and spread the love :)
XOXO ~ Vanessa
